Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fakery

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I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I refuse to date any women that are social media influencers, content creators, TikTok celebrities, and use Only fans. Would this be seen as normal, or would I be going too far? Why?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why don't men find fat women attractive?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

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I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t buy bullshit

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Why am I single?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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I actually pay taxes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have a reading level above third grade

Did Obito ever fully redeem himself in everyone's eyes?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Do you believe that Jesus was God on Earth?

I can count

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Why do many modern Hollywood films rely heavily on CGI and visual effects instead of actual sets? What is your opinion on this trend?

I can read

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I see through liars

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t